Vic McEwan, Police Emergency
Over 2006 - 2008 Police Emergency was performed at:
The Lansdowne Hotel
The Cad Factory
The Basement
Sidetrack Theatre
Edinburgh Fringe Festival (25 nights)
Brisbane Festival (7 nights)
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Police Emergency was a performance piece delving into real-life stories from the underbelly of Sydney, Australia.​ Absurdly funny yet deadly serious, Police Emergency looked through the eyes of an ‘Emergency 000′ worker to present a gripping journey incorporating true story narrative, comedy, video projection and live music.
Real Life 000 calls
POLICE EMERGENCY “How long must I wrestle with wild dogs in Australia for my children to be free?”
POLICE EMERGENCY “This morning, at 9am, I witnessed Adolf Hitler, the leader of Germany enter the country. He is now staying at the Chevron hotel in Sydney City. He is wearing a soft cap and he looks a little older than he used to.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “I can smell murder coming from my roof and there are diapers, body parts and gall bladders all over my yard.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “I came to stay at this backpackers two weeks ago and now that I am trying to leave they are telling me that they have changed it into a psychiatric hospital and I’m not allowed to go. It’s not fair, I only came here for a holiday.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “I’m trying to do a wee, but it won’t come out.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “Outside, there are these two men in space suits and they are emitting toxic fumes.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “That thorny plant that is growing in my garden, they’re the exact same thorns that were used on Jesus’ head.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “My neighbours are using their psychic powers to make my cat sick.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “I got married 6 days ago, and my husband has been drunk ever since. Can you come and take him away? I’m sick of him.”​
POLICE EMERGENCY “I need you to organise composting bins to be installed in the hospital here, cos people keep dying of hepatitis and all the bins are dirty.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “I wanna make a complaint against the local police, they keep doing shits in my goulash. I’m sick of there being copper piss and shit in my goulash.”
POLICE EMERGENCY Somebody has been stealing all my tea, honey and sugar. It’s all right though, cos on Thursday my brains are getting delivered and once I eat them, I’ll be clairvoyant and I’ll know who’s stealing everything.”
POLICE EMERGENCY “Dave just stole my heroin, can you come and get him?”
POLICE EMERGENCY “Oh hello, my next door neighbour just knocked on my door, he was extremely drunk and naked. He said he was going to the toilet in his own unit, but accidentally opened the wrong door and locked himself out . I gave him a towel, but now he has walked off. Can you send the police to maybe get my towel back?”